When people first come to me, they describe it like this:

“I feel foggy.” “I’m not myself.” “Part of me wants one thing and another part wants something completely different.” “I feel like I’m between versions of me and I don’t know who I’m becoming.”

This isn’t confusion. This is what identity transition feels like.

Your nervous system is registering threat—not physical danger, but identity threat. The you that you’ve known is loosening. The strategies that worked before aren’t working. The external validation you relied on is gone or no longer satisfying.

Of course it feels disorienting. You’re disrupting patterns that have kept you safe for decades.

The discomfort isn’t a sign you’re doing something wrong. It’s a sign that real transformation is happening.

The Pressure to “Figure It Out” Makes It Worse

Most people respond to this internal disruption with external urgency:

“I need to decide NOW.” “I should have this figured out by now.” “Everyone else seems so clear about their path.”

But you cannot make a clear decision from a place of internal fog.

Trying to force clarity through willpower doesn’t work. It just creates more internal conflict.

Clarity doesn’t come from pushing harder. It emerges when you understand what’s actually happening inside you—the conscious desires and the unconscious resistance.

The Real Questions of Transition

The work isn’t “What should I do next?”

The work is:

• Who am I becoming?
• What am I afraid to let go of?
• Which beliefs about success and worthiness are actually mine, and which did I absorb from others?
• What unconscious patterns keep recreating the same dynamics?
• How do I want to feel in the next chapter?
• What’s calling me quietly, beneath all the noise and should’s?

These questions don’t give you instant answers.

But they bring you home to yourself.

They reconnect you with your inner authority—the part of you that knows, even when you can’t articulate it yet.

This Is Self-Leadership

Self-leadership isn’t about discipline or willpower or forcing yourself forward.

It’s about:

• Turning inward with curiosity instead of judgment
• Working with your unconscious patterns instead of fighting them
• Building capacity to sit with uncertainty
• Trusting what’s emerging, even when it doesn’t make logical sense yet
• Making decisions from clarity rather than fear

When you reconnect with your inner authority and understand what’s driving your resistance, the path forward becomes clearer.

Not because you forced a decision.

Because you grew into it.

You’re Not Lost. You’re in Transition.

If you’re somewhere between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming—if you feel foggy, stuck, or unsure—you’re not broken.

You’re in the most important phase of change: the one where the old identity loosens before the new one solidifies.

This is where most people panic. This is where most advice fails you by telling you to “just decide” or “take action.”

But this is actually where transformation happens.

Not in the clarity. In the fog.

Not in the decision. In the identity shift that makes the decision obvious.

Not in the action. In the awareness of what’s been unconsciously driving you all along.

The Work Ahead

The changes that break you open are the ones that matter most.

And they require working with both layers: the conscious strategy you need AND the unconscious patterns sabotaging your progress.

This is where I guide.

Not with generic advice about following your passion or making vision boards.

But with the integration of practical strategy and psychological depth that helps you understand what’s really blocking you—and how to work with it instead of against it.

If you’re in transition and ready to do this work—the work that makes change actually stick—you’re in the right place.